happiness. that's what i feel right now. in the past few days, i am struggling with the effect of the raging hormones of being pregnant. no matter how much i tried to be positive, to have a mindset of good things, still i can't. though i know its a typical emotion during pregnancy, i really thought i can get over it and not be affected with it at all. yeah right! nobody is excuse. =)
support system. it is indeed very important. most of the people close to me, whom i can open up are not here around me. they may be there with the help of technology, but touch matters as well. i am just fortunate to have somebody who cares and loves me a lot. my husband. i know there were times when he feels so confused with my extreme attitudes. he may have tried to argue and question me, yet he still choose to be quiet and understand me despite his confusions. and i thank him for that. thank you very much for loving me, understanding me, accepting me and reassuring me always. all those small things matter a lot to me.
im just very thankful and happy!.......... and sleepy already! =)
Losing someone is somehow easy to accept. But knowing that you can never see that someone for good is really hard to do. My grandmother just past away last October 21, 2009 at around 5:00 in the afternoon. She's an old maid but she considered my mother as her own daughter. She's living a quite simple life. She has a small store and a younger brother, who is also an old bachelor who helps her. Financially they are able to sustain their everyday needs, but as they get older (Lola is 84 years old and her brother is in his 70s) things are getting difficult for them, such as buying their stocks from the market. They had no household helpers so they do everything on their own. Life had been harsh to them in their later years. So other members of the family has to extend their financial contributions every month to help them sustain their basic needs. Time came when the financial support extended to them were not enough to help them with all their needs, especially their medical needs. Recently, she took her last breath lying in bed, in pain. I don't want to give more description of her situation because it pains me a lot.
Giving is better than receiving. It is as they say, helping yourself getting rid of self-centeredness. Yet, there would always be those times when what's left for you is enough for you only. People who were used to seeing you giving more, expects more of what you can give. They are not even the recipient of what you can give. Bad thing is, these people say a lot of rude words towards you. Not only hurting but degrading. As an individual, trying to become a better person, I choose to let these words pass. Taking note that you cannot please everyone. *deep sigh*
Receiving support from people who cares for you - family and friends, indeed provides peace of mind, calmness and reassurance that no matter how worst things maybe, they would always be there to stand by you. These people gives me additional strength to fight through everyday life.
Life is not easy. But life on earth is not the end of it all. All things are temporary. God has prepared a place for all of us in heaven. A place where we should look forward to. Losing, giving, receiving are just some of the experiences we need to go through to appreciate life in any way.
